July 28, 2017

Anxious About Being Anxious

[CW: sexual assault, anxiety]
This blog post is part of a series of posts by a survivor of sexual assault.

I have always been an anxious person, ever since I was little, but after being sexually assaulted this anxiety became a lot more prevalent in my everyday life. Anxiety is an interesting thing as most people have, will or have previously had it, so I know I am not alone.

To be anxious daily is something you have to cope with. I used to get anxious about everyday sorts of things before I was assaulted, such as too much work for classes, and trying to juggle a social life, classes and a sport, as well as trying to maintain some level of sanity. But now the anxiety is about everything and anything, I am finding it very hard to control.

There are days where I am absolutely fine and I don’t even know that the anxiety is there. But there are some days when it is all I can think about. It rules your life on those days. You cannot stop thinking that everything is going and will go wrong.

I am starting to learn if I feel that something I am thinking about seems silly, I have to think to myself that is this thing that I’m worrying about actually going to go wrong or is it the anxiety talking. I have been lucky, I have had a lot of help when it comes to dealing with the anxiety, whether it be friends, family, or counsellors, as well as SASC, but still it is a very lonely experience to go through.

Anxiety and the triggers that come with it can come in all shapes and sizes. You need to know what will trigger your anxiety in order to control it. Once you know the triggers for you personally you can start to control them. You may eliminate certain things, activities or people out of your life. This is okay. The less triggers you have the more likely you’ll be able to get on with your life. If a trigger comes up that was unexpected, you will be able to cope with it better as you will not have other triggers to worry about. Focus on you and what makes you happy not anxious.